I did some tests with the relay, its not bi-stable/latching as i thought i was (Latching relays seem to be hard to find). It does however have both NO and NC outputs, and draws 108mA when pulled. This might still be usefull, the NC contact could be used as a charge controller. If the solarpanel is connected to the NC pins on the relay, the relay could use 108mA to keep the panel disconnected from the battery when the voltage is too high(>14,5v or something). Power will be abundant when the sun is shining directly at the panel and the battery is fully charged.
The NC option would also be "safe" in the way that if the program in the Arduino stalls, the solar panel will be reconnected when the battery voltage is too low for the arduino to keep it disconnected, the circuit will be rebooted and start with the panel connected.